Category: Thoughts

My gym, Showtime Spirit, had it’s first competition yesterday. Of our 3 teams, 2 finished first and 1 finished second. Both first place teams had one other team in their division and the second place finisher had 2 additional teams in the division. Overall I thought it was a successful day. Our performances were pretty…

I haven’t written anything in a while, but to get back to doing it. I’ve had a million things on my mind lately, some personal and some work related. The gym had a busy week and has another one coming.  Yesterday was UCA regionals in Lexington, which is first event for some of our high…

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was Educated and…

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it…

A man robs a bank and takes hostages. He asks the first hostage “Did you see me rob the bank”. The hostage answered “Yes” so the robber shot him. He then asked the second hostage, “Did you see me rob the bank?” The hostage replied, “No, but I’m pretty sure my wife did.”

Right now I am sitting in the doctor’s office waiting to urinate. I’m slightly annoyed because I was told not to eat or drink anything for at least 12 hours before coming here then asked for a urine sample as soon as I got here. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think that makes…

I’m walking UK’s campus on my way to a meeting with T. Lynn and it feels great to be on campus again.

Comedian Bernie Mac died today in Chicago.

I resigned on Tuesday and will be returning to Lexington, KY to open a cheer and dance training facility called Showtime Spirit. I’ll post more later.

Microsoft recently made a bid for Yahoo!, which I think is a terrible idea, unless Microsoft is planning on embracing the open source community, which is about as likely as me finding out I’m Bill Gates’ illegitimate child. (That is quite a run on sentence). My “Thank You” goes to Toshiba for killing HD-DVD without…

A husband walks into Victoria’s Secret to purchase a sheer lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the sheerer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks…

I emailed Landware at 10:23. They replied, requesting more information at 11:00. I supplied the requested information at 11:09. I received a new activation code at 11:14.Isn’t that how customer service is supposed to work? 

I’ve been a little out of it lately, thinking to much about everything. Only a few weeks until Daytona, which is the last trip I have scheduled. 

I head to Orlando later today to judge UCA All*Star Nationals. It should be a fun weekend.

I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.…

Eighth Place: In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate while trying to retrieve his car keys. Seventh Place: A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker — who often bragged he was “totally-zoned when he ran” — accidentally jogged off a 100-foot…

Q – My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me. A – Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together.…

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint… it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What…

SMART ASS ANSWER #6 — It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. ‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. ‘What are my choices?’ John asked. ‘Yes or no,’ she replied’ SMART ASS ANSWER #5 — A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As…

Ski Resorts within an hour of an airport: Aspen/Pitkin County Airport, Colo., from which the magazine says you can be on the lift in 10 minutes at Buttermilk. Aspen Highlands, Ajax and Snowmass are within a half-hour’s drive of the airport. Burlington International Airport, Vt., from which the magazine says you can be on the…

 Business advice from Marvin Bower, McKinsey’s chief architect. Put the client’s interests first and separate yourself from the job. Be consistent yet open-minded. Center problem solving on the facts and on the front line. View problems and decisions in the context of the whole and in terms of the immediate actions to be taken. Inspire…

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning … uphill BOTH ways. yadda, yadda, yada… And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no…

This week there were 3 significant technological developments. The first was the disconnection of most analog cellular signals. Basically the original cell phone has died. AT&T and Verizon, the big, and essentially only, two in the mobile game turned theirs off. Number 3, Sprint, never had an analog network. The second comes from Japan. Toshiba…

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a Pocket Taser Stun Gun for their anniversary submitted this as a ‘short’ story for his alumni newsletter. Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra…

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Tomorrow I head to Atlanta for the world’s largest cheerleading competition, CheerSport. It should be fun.